I believe our thoughts and feelings create our reality – and it is for this very reason we might actually be thinking ourselves ‘infertile’.

There are two facets to emotional infertility. Firstly, the stress of conceiving long before embarking on the practice and then secondly at the other end of the scale, the pain and torment felt by couples who have been trying their hearts out for that baby for many years. I see both scenarios too often. The stress of this baby making business is very real.

Perhaps you’ve been talking to a friend who’s been doing it tough and the baby making isn’t coming so easily? You may start to question your body’s own ability to conceive. Or maybe you’ve been trying for a really long time – and why wouldn’t you be questioning everything? There are questions you want answer to.

Chinese Medicine recgonises the strong relationship between the mind and the reproductive organs. In addition to this knowledge, I learnt many things at Lara Wilson’s presentation which reinforced the idea that our emotional state affects our health and our fertility. It’s often in that time a patient ’”let’s go” and “gives up” that she finds herself pregnant. I wish I could bottle up the formula to letting go. Reality is, it is extremely difficult for me to help a couple understand just how strongly their thoughts influence their bodies ability – it’s not something easily taught. It’s something that needs to be experienced and very often until a couple find themselves pregnant, it’s very hard to get one’s head around it all.

I’ve been trying to touch on this subject for a while now. Lara struck a chord that resonated within me; we have a choice and our choices pave the way for what we bring about. Lara shared about how our thoughts and beliefs create our realities and the more we focus on what we don’t want, the more we bring it about. When we look at this in terms of infertility, it makes huge sense to start focusing on what we want – the more we tell ourselves ‘we’re having trouble, there is something wrong or it isn’t happening,’ the more we are reinforcing this within. Get this – there is science behind this. At Lara’s presentation, I learn’t of the Reticular Activating System or RAS in the brain which, when activated, will look for evidence. Try this on. You buy a new car and you suddenly see it everywhere because your RAS is activated. It’s not that there are suddenly more of these cars on the road, it’s that you are aware of them. Apply this to fertility. We want a baby and all of a sudden we see babies everywhere because we’ve been ‘activated.’ It’s what you do with this that counts. You can either focus on the ‘no baby’ or the ‘baby.’

So if as a couple, we are constantly focusing on the lack of success, the ‘no’ baby, the infertility, the envy and so on – these feelings are being reinforced and we start to believe it. But shift this a little, by focusing on the baby, the fertility and the joy that their health brings, they are reinforcing positive attitudes which allow for endless possibilities.

Whilst it is all good and well for me to write this and suggest that you need to change your thought patterns, stat, it would also be wrong of me not to share because my job as a fertility educator is all about the babies and how to get them. And of course, this thought process isn’t limited to babies – it’s applicable to every part of your life. Sound familiar – maybe Lara is your gal to help you change those thoughts.

This alone may or may not solve your fertility issues – there might be way more to your situation. BUT this is one area of your life that you can control, and one area that when you place all the pieces of the puzzle together which can make a really big difference.

Focus on what you want – NOT what you don’t want.

What you think about, you bring about.