I was always taught as a kid, it wasn’t cool to complain. I’m not even sure why, other than the fact that nobody liked to listen to a whinging or nagging child. Of course this naturally spilt over into my teen and adult years and if you know me well, you’ll know I don’t really complain too much. This doesn’t mean I don’t want to, nor does it mean that little voice in my head doesn’t either – in fact, she’s right there whinging her way through unless I let her have her way. I’ve learnt to quieten her or at least silence her at times because as I suggested, nobody likes a whinger.
Since returning from holidays, I have a suspected case of the flu. My body hurts. My eyes are sore and I feel like a bag of good ol crapola. Truth is, I can’t stop coughing. For this minute life officially sucks, and even though I know I have 1 million things to be grateful for, right now that doesn’t even matter. I’m hating on it all and in this moment I think that is perfectly ok. Today I’m complaining. Tell me you’re with me? Tell me as annoying as it is, we’re all only human (after all).
In a space where it’s all about focusing on the positive, manifesting what you want in life and remembering that what we draw our attention to we create more of, there is a fine line between pretending everything is ok in the hope of conjering up the goodness of positivity AND admitting that things really are horrible and you’d happily welcome a bat across the head to knock yourself out for an hour or two just to escape your body for a bit. Both, I believe, are equally important. Unfortunately (or not), life can’t be a constant string of fluffy bunny rabbits and cutsie little lambs. We’ve got to have a bit of it all thrown in the mix – that’s what continues to propel us. It’s so very true that we must have the downs to have the ups. Having said that, when the downs become out of control, it’s yet another reason to speak up and be honest – there’s no need to sweat it out solo.
Something very cool happens when we are honest with ourselves. We tap into truth, move past the clouds, gain a few Ah-ha’s and best of all, we get to move on. But when we sit suffering in our head, we only continue to punish ourselves. I observed this myself with this flu-ey situation. I could feel it coming, but I continued to tell myself that I wasn’t as unwell as I felt – that I had to suck it up. It wasn’t until I was completely honest with myself and admitted to my loved ones I felt really unwell that my body unraveled. I was holding everything so tightly, pretending to be ok when I wasn’t, my body didn’t know how to recover.
Suffering in silence is not cool mostly because nobody ever got anywhere by having their own pity party (I hate to say). There are so many situations I see like this in clinic – women with a spectrum of issues, keeping it all to themselves, because they have been told they must. Where women once congregated together to get stuff done whilst the men went out to hunt and gather, we didn’t just peel the potatoes and pop on a pot of tea – we solved problems. We did this collectively because that’s what we do! But what I’ve observed (and I can only blame modern living), is that when we try and solve our issues solo, when we try and fight inner battles without articulating how we feel or what’s going on to others, we can find ourselves trapped. But most of all, recovery comes when we are completely honest with ourselves and others. It’s no coincidence that getting it ‘off our chest’ feels so good because it is completely therapeutic.
Chinese Medicine is wildly loved for it’s recognition between the emotional and physical. For women, so often our ’emotions’ get stuck within our reproductive system and go about wreaking havoc. I’ve spoken about this in detail in almost all of my courses – I especially dig into this in Debunking Stress – a must for all of us to recognise and adapt tools to help us cope with modern day pressure.
There are a few tricks in this ‘complaining’ game that I believe are important – here goes;
- It’s important to get it out – tell a friend (or two) or somebody you trust and really let it all out. That’s what friends are for! But the trick is, this is the first step and must very soon be followed by my next point.
- Action change. We must complain – I believe, to move on but we must also action change pretty soon after. Truth is, nobody wants to hear you complaining about the same thing 13 years later. Be encouraged to know there is always a reason something is happening – finding the trigger is a complete must.
- Build your sisterhood. Finding a community of like-minded people is so important on so many levels. Draw on others experience, find comfort in others who have similar issues, build trust and relationships and solve problems as a team. It’s like a slipstream to health and wellbeing.
- Keep being honest with yourself and others. You do not need to suffer in silence. Nobody has ever won a battle doing that much!
You may not know it, but you have your very own community of like minded sisters right here! Insert The Wellness Collective Membership. It’s all for you; to have all of this (and so much more). The community are a-buzz, chatting it out collectively and solving issues, asking questions they are perhaps too embarrassed to ask publicly (it’s a super safe place right there), joining in on my webinars, getting answers and collecting information and making lives sweeter. Think of it as women, just like you, sitting around their virtual coffee table each night, being truthful about their health and lives, getting it off their chests and solving life problems! Hello!
I’d love you to join us. You can learn more here. Because you don’t need to suffer in silence – in fact being brave enough to share may just be exactly what your body is begging for to get past whatever hurdles you’re facing. I know I’m feeling better just thinking about that freedom.
Oh one more thing… CHECK THIS OUT! We are on iTunes!
Did you know The Wellness Collective Radio Show is now on iTunes! (eep!!) All episodes will now be available on demand so you can listen at any time! Our very first episode is with the gorgeous Emmily Banks from Depths of Beauty. Head to iTunes, use the search function top right of main page and type ‘The Wellness Collective Radio Show,’ and you can find our first episode! Please check us out and PLEASE give us a rating on iTunes so we can continue to make more of the good stuff just for you – to continue to help make your life sweeter.