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The day I drowned in the damn playground…

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“I’ve said it before and I’ll keep on saying it – we aren’t taught to deal with emotions. If we don’t allow ourselves to properly feel, we can’t process and move through the motions that go with it that make us unhealthy and stressed on an unconscious level. What emotions have you moved through properly today? I’ve gone from sadness and hurt to frustration, guilt and then self reflection to then come out and say to myself – I’m a good person and that’s what matters to me – because remember, what others think about you isn’t your business.”

I posted the above on Facebook just a few days back and the response was nothing short of overwhelming. Almost 6000 views and 264 likes – that’s some response! It got me wondering though, are we attracted to drama or do we genuinely care? Some people reached out with utter concern because it wasn’t something I’d ordinarily post and I could sense their worry. But of course, they need not worry – it was just another day. Another day filled with emotions ranging from love and gratitude through to disappointment and sadness. Another normal, run of the mill day. Other people reading the Facebook post got it – they were the ones replying with “Amen sista” or “so perfect”. They were the ones embracing their emotional wellness, good and bad, it didn’t matter. They were the ones that understood – this, my friends, is living.

You see, we all have these emotions every single day of our beautiful lives. We’re not necessarily taught what to do with them, or most of all how to feel them properly. But we can’t deny we are all human, with heartbeats and a brain. We are, at the very least, big beautiful balls of energy driven by emotion. It’s what we do with emotion that matters most. We’ve been conditioned to push away emotion and for the most part to avoid feeling. We’re taught it’s not ok to cry, it’s not ok to show anger in public and that we should be living like everything is more than ok, every waking minute of the day.

For me, this was just another very beautiful day. But being open and transparent isn’t something that we’ve been conditioned to shy away from. Who was I, a somewhat public figure in the health industry to show emotions? GASP! I was human? I had emotion? Life wasn’t always rosy? You bet! Some people even wrote on my wall that they felt relieved by the sense of normality they felt, in almost a refreshing way that they too could relate and that we were, above all, living the same lives in different ways.

It’s not so much that we have emotion, it is what we do with it when it pops its head up to reveal itself. After years of growth, countless sessions with my business coach and some pretty hefty ‘inner work’, I’ve come to practice this daily. What once was a very conscious effort to really feel emotion as it arrived has shifted to being something that I simply must do to go on with my day- unconsciously. If sadness comes, I’ve learnt that feeling it until it is no longer, is key to me moving into the next minutes of my life. The same goes with absolutely any feeling. Because feeling is living and if we are constantly pushing away the emotion, it simply gets wedged between a rock and a hard place somewhere between the oesophagus and the pancreas.But for most women somewhere deep in their feminine soul.

Never a good option.

Some of us need to work harder on this than others. But please, do yourself the world of favours and next time you need to feel – just do. Feel the emotion until you can’t feel it anymore and allow yourself to go through the motions, good, bad or otherwise. Because a feeling is just a short moment in time and whilst at the time it may not be ideal, the long term consequences it may have on your health by way of pent up emotions and stress is disastrous. Stress is so very many things – by learning simple strategies to allow us to cope with the current epidemic is absolutely the future of wellness.

 

This article was recently published in Over the Moon magazine – a brand new magazine that has accepted the task of shaking up the world of women’s spirituality and start a revolution of JOY! Do yourself and your hormones a favour and check it out!

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9 Responses to “The day I drowned in the damn playground…”

  1. Marg

    It this post missing a paragraph? It does not seem to all tie together.

    Reply
  2. Susan M

    Our family rides the waves of intense emotions often. A highly hormonal empathetic daughter and an Aspie son who feels he has to ‘act’ normal in society. My question is related to your comment “Feel the emotion until you can’t feel it anymore and allow yourself to go through the motions, good, bad or otherwise.” What if feeling the emotion leads to a dangerous situation? When anger, depression & sadness come to our home we never know whether to let someone stay ‘stuck’ in this or try to ‘move them forward’. I know medication, meditation & having caring professionals helps and I would never want someone to feel invalidated. But you seem to be saying when emotions & hormones are doing their thing then we should let someone stay in that place for a time and if so, how long?

    Reply
    • Nat Kringoudis

      Very valid question. When feelings are completely felt (and we learn how to do this properly) they only last for around 15 seconds. The difference is, we aren’t taught to fully feel them. If we are ‘stuck’ in an emotion it’s important to look at why. The grieving process, when fully embodied takes 3 days – therefore an emotion fully felt may last anywhere from a minute to several days. That’s not really very long when it’s done experienced wholeheartedly. Of course we are all different but simply sweeping feelings and emotions aside doesn’t serve us and so it’s really important we also find our own ways to deal with these feelings. I know it can be so hard – I remember at times torturing people with my unhealed emotions for months! It all starts with awareness and harnessing the good emotions to help support those we don’t enjoy feeling so much.

      Reply
      • Susan M

        Very helpful advice for those of us helping others cope with their emotions starting with ‘awareness & harnessing the good emotions’. Thanks for keeping us informed Nat.

  3. Rebecca Prosser

    Halleluiah! I’m loving the unbridled truth, yes Nat you landed a bulls eye here and nailed it.
    xxx

    Reply
  4. Renuka Senthevadivel

    Just had my first ivf cycle cancelled because firstly my follicles were too little then they discovered that I ovulated before trigger. I was tearing up with the nurse and instead of justssoldering on, I am taking a time out to feel the pain and hurt before I press resume.

    Reply
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